Frequently Asked Question: When will I die? I can’t tell you when you’ll die. No legitimate reader I know will.
Less than Positive Solution: You want to know. So you find someone else claiming to be a legit psychic. She “panics” shortly after you ask her when you will die. She then tells you if you don’t pay her $750 to let her smack you around with chicken bones, you are going to die a very ugly and untimely death. Imminently.
What you don’t know and should: She had KFC last night.
Immediate Result: You reek of leftover chicken and shame. Next time you see wackadoodle, she’s rocking a new laptop. You know you bought that, right?
End Result: You aren’t dead. You are, however, broke.