My youngest son got both a mother and daughter in bed with him a week ago.
I realize I should have blogged about it sooner.
But I wanted to see what he might do next, with such ample bosoms and opportunities around him.
I should mention at this juncture that my youngest son will turn seven in December.
As most of you know, I’m visiting my best friend, Suzanne, and her family in Texas.
She and her daughter are extraordinarily attractive specimens to be found among the female gender.
So, Reilly started wooing them shortly after arriving on their front doorstep.
He moved at a fast pace, first giving Suzanne’s nipple a friendly hello with his finger.
I have no doubts at all he wishes to give his other fingers a introduction to Suzanne’s other nipple.
I’m sure he’ll find a opportunity.
Reilly was, shortly after his introduction to Suzanne’s impressive bosom.
To be found in bed with Suzanne’s daughter, Alaina…under the covers, no less.
As of this date, Reilly has tried to no avail to actually spend the night in Alaina’s bed.
His intentions are clear that she is to remain in bed with him.
But you know how women are, Alaina just won’t be ordered around.
Reilly still lives in hope and can be found trailing Alaina with a confident grin in place.
He believes confidence is the key to wooing women, and I’m not at all certain he’s wrong on that point.
His headiest victory to date is the getting the mother and daughter in bed.
I suppose it’s fair to say the saga begins with Reilly donning a batman costume.
Six pack muscles and nippled shields are included, but alas, no codpiece to be found.
Not that lack of codpiece distracted or upset a real man like Reilly.
Confidence being key, he settled down, mask in place, to watch a movie with Suzanne and Alaina.
Reilly was enjoying the movie, when true inspiration hit.
He requested that Alaina and Suzanne move a bit closer, as he was uncomfortable.
Both complied, and not one to think his luck will lack at any date or time, Reilly then made another suggestion.
Why not lie down in bed together?
Suzanne and Alaina complied yet again.
Unfortunately, they had made a mistake.
They were both beside one another.
This was a situation Reilly felt capable of dealing with.
Gesturing in his batsuit, nipple shields shining in the light from the tv, smile firmly in place.
Reilly instructed Alaina to lay on one side of him, then Suzanne the other.
Unbeknownst to Reilly, who had inadvertantly got caught up in the Spongebob movie playing.
Suzanne and Alaina were smiling over him at one another.
After all, they had seen all that Reilly flaunted in front of them before.
Perhaps it was unwise of me to rush headlong into the story without mentioning that when it came to donning the batsuit Reilly had discovered.
He simply stripped all his clothing off in full view of Suzanne and Alaina.
As his mother, I can vouch that he has nothing to be ashamed of; if he did, I most assuredly would confess to it.
Nor was this the first time Suzanne and Alaina were stunned by a naked young man in their presence.
Reilly had the endearing or digusting habit, depending on how one looks at it.
Of stripping completely as soon as he enters a door.
He’s not a fan of underwear, like all the males in my family.
Sadly, he’s not ashamed, nor is he aware that normal social etiquette requires that one NOT remove every scrap of clothing in the presence of females.
Believe me, I have tried to convince him otherwise; his having confidence in this case is not a good thing.
I suppose he feels both Suzanne and Alaina are important.
Of course, I feel the same.
I’m already scheming with Suzanne and her husband to set up an arranged marriage between either Liam (turning eight in October) or Reilly to Alaina.
Either way, I’m finally related to Suzanne, even if by marriage, so which son marries her matters not one whit to me.
I’d ask them to share, but I think even they would frown upon that.
But I digress.
Reilly was in heaven.
He had already experienced the graciousness and run to get whatever he, the man, wanted that Suzanne and Alaina display on a continuing basis.
It’s not behavior his sorry ass will see at home, believe me.
But life improved rapidly while he was watching Spongebob with two of the three most important women in his life (of which goddammit, I am one, no matter what that little bastard tells you).
Reilly’s next request of Suzanne and Alaina (during a commercial break, of course) was a bit more graphic.
He turned to Suzanne, then to Laini, and gently yet expectantly.
Asked them if they wanted to stroke his muscles.
When this true tale was relayed to me, I warned both women that so long as he wasn’t asking for them to stroke the muscles under his waist, they’d be fine.
Reilly hasn’t donned the batsuit since.
Oh, it wasn’t that Suzanne and Alaina didn’t gingerly stroke the six pack on the batsuit.
It’s more along the lines of Reilly’s thought process, which I can both understand and appreciate.
Once you’ve had two women in bed with you.
Not just watching Spongebob…which is necessary for any woman to appreciate in Reilly’s mind.
But also stroking your manly bat muscles.
Donning the suit will never be the same again.
So it is I find myself compelled to say to my youngest son.
You are my kind of Super Hero.