Lydia Aswolf

I have told a few friends that writing is exactly like having the flu.

You have to puke it all out to get rid of it.

That said, I’ll start work on my third book this year…and with any luck finish it too!

Still on extended hiatus from Psychically Correct, but do know Suzanne and I don’t intend for that to be forever…simply because I keep getting requests from publicists and various personalities to appear on the show.

It just happens to be my birthday week AND Halloween….so I’m gonna stuff my face with candy, chips, dip, and the worst shit possible.

Due to the resulting sugar coma, I’m sure you’ll understand I won’t be blogging much.

When I recover, I’ll be writing my third book.

But as you know, I can’t seem to stay out of trouble, so I’m sure I’ll post here and there.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, EVERYONE!!!!

I don’t sniff incense or wear gypsy skirts. This seems to be one of the more common misconceptions I run across regarding psychics and mediums. One of my colleagues recently sent me a discussion he happened across online. It regarded what psychics and mediums should, or should not wear to gain business. More than half the readers in on the discussion were appalled when a colleague claimed she got much more business by wearing a gypsy skirt and a turban. Her thought process was to look the part, which insulted just about everyone, as we aren’t playing a part; this is our life, for God’s sake.

I get a lot of double takes from people when I tell them I’m a psychic-medium. Everyone seems to expect me to have piercings in weird places, or  have an actual third eye imbedded somewhere on my person. Of course, reactions do differ. I get a real kick out of the facial expressions and reactions I encounter. You get the people who step away like you have an infectious disease. These specimens never have much to say after you have told them what you do for a living, and normally wander off with a somewhat worried expression on their face. I’ve yet to see any antibacterial wipes in my presence, but I fervently hope one day, I shall produce this reaction.

It’s not uncommon, upon telling some people what I do for a living, to have their faces light up. That’s when I know I’ve stepped in something that smells suspiciously like wet dogshit. The reaction from these people is always the same. They move closer (all the better to smell your rancid breath, my dear) and then they start peppering me with questions. Some of these offenders have actually taken my arm with the intent to drag me off into a quiet spot so that they can debrief me about every aspect of their life and future. Believe me, I have been sorely tempted to carry pepper spray for these people, but what in the hell would I offer as suitable provocation to the cops?

I’ve run across my fair share of people who react by telling me that they are psychic too. I react mildly, as everyone is psychic to some degree. However, some of these self proclaimed psychics must then prove themselves, usually by attempting a reading on my husband or myself. I suppose I should be flattered that they want to impress me.

I am blessed to have a husband who looks like someone who would have no difficulties at all with killing first and asking questions later. He has saved my ass on more than one occasion when a reading is forced upon me, which is but one of the many reasons I keep him by my side at all times. This amuses both of us, because it’s widely known that while my spouse might look like a killer, one would be wiser by far to worry about my homicidal tendencies. Looks can be deceiving; I count on it and thank the powers that be every day I was given a mild face to hide my evil inclinations.

It’s actually more rare to have someone merely raise an eyebrow and then go on with a conversation, on the infrequent occasions these interactions occur, I breathe a sigh of relief and actually feel like a normal person for a while. There are reasons we don’t list our home numbers, most based on the reactions we often get in person. It’s such a scandal when celebrity phone numbers get out, but they have it easy compared to what we might go through if we were foolhardy enough to list our personal numbers.

Introductions are the worst; nearly everyone asks what you do for a living upon first meeting. I can reassure you, being psychic is far worse than being a lawyer or doctor at a social gathering. I usually get the “I bet you know my name” shit upon first introduction, which is not a ringing endorsement of the person I’m being introduced to. I’ve been taken hostage more than once, barricaded in with no way out, answering the barrage of questions that comes my way. All while helplessly trying to find an exit, or better yet a bottle I can break and brandish as a weapon against my inquisitors.

I’ve fielded my fair share of dirty looks, and caught a few mumbled insults here and there, but my favorite reaction is the people who just stay away from me, convinced I’m going to infiltrate their brains, perhaps with intent to make their heads explode. Obviously, the latter are my favorite kind of people; while they might be fearing for their lives with me, they are the last people I want to maim or kill. I’ve said we aren’t all cut from the same cloth, and I can attest that there are wonderful, patient, tactful psychics and mediums out there. I do not fall among their number, which might be healthy to keep in mind before inviting me to your next party or get together.

Our job is not to provide fairy tales. I think people lose sight of that very easily. Perhaps it’s just what we’ve been coerced into believing by the media. You know how it goes. You can have tits that point north, a dick that stays hard for hours (but not four, then you need to hit the ER), a great job, your dream home, and anything and everything else you want.

Yet, everyone knows that deep down, underneath this whole shiny facade, stark cold reality waits for them. Things are not always going to go your way. You probably will work at least one job you hate, have unsatisfactory sex with more than one person, and get disgusted on occasion with your romantic partner. Sometimes Mr Soldier won’t stand at attention, and those perky tits you had in high school are gone forever.

We psychics must deal with reality every single day.

We only wish everyone else did.

Had I not been under the weather AND stopped smoking for good this time, I would have already announced October as BETHANNE ELION MONTH!!!!! Sorry about the caps, but remember people, dopamine is kind of working out a new arrangment in my damned brain after undertaking a no smoking philosophy.

If you have NOT picked up Bethanne Elion’s great book via her site (http://www.bethanneelion.com/) pick it up asap. I was lucky enough to get an advance copy, and it is truly a magnificent work I highly encourage everyone to pick up..you won’t regret it!

Suzanne has her book currently buried in Bethanne’s book, haven’t talked to her sorry ass since she started it…it’s THAT good people!

Head on over and grab your copy..and Bethanne is even signing copies, so keep that in mind

CONGRATS Bethanne!!!

http://www.bethanneelion.com/

Channelling is another gift we hear a great deal about. This is when the psychic or medium will actually allow their bodies to be taken over by spirit guides or those who have passed over and are looking to reunite with those they love. Channelling doesn’t exactly light my fire; I’m a little too uptight to let anyone take over me to talk through my mouth. Plus I’d hate to deprive my clients of my foul mouth, and creativity in employing new combinations of curse words.

It’s vastly important to note that no spirit guide, and no one who has passed will ever “possess” a person. I did not mention ghosts in relation to channelling because ghosts are earthbound, and therefore don’t stand a chance in hell of possessing someone…which is somewhat the contrary of some popular beliefs I’ve heard bandied about. Remember that the spirit guide or passed over loved one has only one thing in mind…connecting and helping in what ways they can. I think watching a legitimate channeller do their business would be incredibly cool.

It would be wise to talk to the channeler a bit before they begin the session. Validation would lie not only in the total change of their personality, but the correct info they come out with in regards to your questions. In a very real sense, if you desire a real time, face to face talk with your spirit guide or a passed over relative, I should think those who channel would do the trick, though I’m sure it would take some getting used to. Channelling is without doubt a more direct means of communication, but be aware that both spirit guides and those who have passed can only give you so much information. They cannot give you the winning lottery numbers, or tell you things about your future that you must learn on your own. This is necessary to be aware of before a reading so that you know your whole future will not be given to you.

Mediumship I think we all know about. It’s the ability to talk to those who have died. So yeah, we talk to dead people. Some of us use the aforementioned abilities to communicate with the dead, either seeing or hearing them, or both. Others see symbols that have personal meaning for them, These mediums then translate what those who have passed over wish their loved ones to know. It varies quite a bit from medium to medium.

I see the person who has passed over and describe them in detail first, physically. Normally, after the person recognizes who it is, their passed over loved one will change the picture, so that I can convey what they want me to. I do get some information by telepathy as well. I suck out loud at names, so I never get those, nor do I get how a person passed, though I will see if they had physical disabilities or health issues during their life. The dead I talk to aren’t real interested in conveying how they died. Primarily, they want to let their loved ones still stuck on Earth to know they are very much alive, and very much present in their loved ones’ lives. I know other mediums who do get information on how one died, but I prefer not to focus on that, and well, so do my dead people.

Our basic personalities don’t change when we pass over, so sense of humor definitely sticks around. I love that, because dead people just love to fuck with me. I’m a joke on the Other Side for my infamous ability to rarely get names. If I do perchance, get them, I forget them immediately thereafter. This doesn’t just apply to my communications with dead people. I am often introduced to people, and find it only fair to immediately tell them I’ll never remember their names, but I’ll always remember their face. Maybe.

Most of my clients’ families stick around to rib me for a bit, and I have to admit, I love it. So many people feel spooked by anyone who can talk to the dead, but I’m here to tell you, it is so much fun. You don’t have the negativity that you get with living people for one thing, and those who have passed are always in a fabulous mood, which placates me a little when they decide to fuck with me. Medium readings are my favorite kind of reading to give; they always make my day. It’s a reunion that gives many people the faith that they will meet their loved ones on the Other Side, someday.

I have witnessed many clients who are afraid of death. These same clients, upon validation that they have relatives, friends, and pets who are awaiting them on the Other Side, are more able to overcome their fear of death and anticipate the big party they will arrive to one day. I’ll tell you what sticks in my craw though. I said dead people retain their sense of humor, right? Often, in the middle of a reading, they will spit out one or two word phrases I then have to pass on…no matter what those few words might be. I had to tell my best pal, Suzanne, during a medium reading with her grandfather, that the one word he wanted her to hear was “Rooster.” I cringed before I spat it out, but when I said it, sure enough, she laughed uproariously, and said that her Grandfather had a favorite rooster who lived right in his house with him. Now, while I was slouched in relief and praying to God he’d not make a fool of me like that again, she was thrilled, knowing that this was one piece of validation no one could have easily come up with.

Those incidents leave me cold and shaking every single time. My colleagues who are mediums suffer the same situation. Being able to swap stories about it definitely makes it a bit easier. Unfortunately for us, it is always imperative that we spit out exactly what we get, even if it means, as in a recent session, I had to tell my client that her Dad was showing me sausage. I kid you not, I managed to cringe and flinch at the same time after he told me that. She immediately guffawed and told me he made his own sausage all the time, and had his very own secret recipe. Little things like that, that are specific in nature, and could not be easily guessed at, are what you should be looking for if you want a medium session.

In my personal and professional opinion, a medium reading needs more connection time than psychic readings. You have to make certain you are connecting with this person’s beloved pets or loved ones, yet you also need to keep a eye on the client to make sure they are not trying to “fit” some of their passed over loved ones into the situation. It’s not at all uncommon to be performing medium readings before a group, and have some people take the information someone who has passed over is giving and make it somehow fit into the very person they are trying to contact. Not every single person you might be wanting to connect with always comes through. Remembering that and having a open mind will take you a long way in a medium reading.

I like to say that your loved one might hear the phone ringing, but that doesn’t mean they are going to come running. You see, those who have passed know that they will have the opportunity to connect with you at some point; some are just more eager than others to get to that phone when it starts ringing. Take into account also that if someone died recently, they sometimes will need to acclimate to the Other Side. They might be literally unable to cope with having a visit too soon after death. While this isn’t always the norm, it does happens from time to time. It’s best to keep in mind that anyone from any segment of your life who has passed on might drop by, and in my experience, usually more than one person will make an appearance.

If you are looking for a medium reading, the best thing to judge in a good medium is that they do the talking. At no time should you provide a medium with anything more than a yes/no/make sense answer. I myself am very harsh about this; if you are feeding me extra information, then that is one less thing your passed over friend, loved one, or pet has to give me to validate that it is really them, wanting to connect with you. I have been known to tell clients who know me very well to shut the hell up so they can get the information from the horse’s mouth, so to speak, instead of giving me any information ahead of time.

If any medium you happen to consult seems to be making guesses, or dealing in generalities, quit the session and look around for another medium. It’s too important to legit mediums that you have an amazing experience, a true reunion with those you’ve loved but definitely not lost. It’s the best feeling in the world to know you are never alone, and hell, if a vulgar bitch like myself can provide it, well, I’ll be tickled pink. Medium readings make mediums happy, too.

None of the abilities I’ve described will tell you the sum total of your future. There will always be blank spots, information you don’t get in order to learn a lesson and grow stronger. Not that learning these lessons is great, it’s usually painful, and can be drawn out and protracted. But hell, we all fall into this mud puddle called life. Sometimes there are people who are there to help pull us out and brush the mud off. Mostly, we just have to drag ourselves out, tearing off a few fingernails in the process. Our fingernails will heal, with time, and then we’ll move on.

 Before you begin reading the next excerpt from my first book, I would like to ask you all a favor. My best friend and co host on Psychically Correct, Suzanne called me early today. At first I could not make heads nor tails of what she was saying. When I did understand, I reacted in horror. Her son, Ryan, who happens to be one of the purest souls I know, is being rushed to the ER as I type, and tested for meningitis.

I would ask you to keep Ryan in your thoughts and prayers if you are so inclined. It would make a world of difference to Suzanne…and to me.

Thanks in advance.

Remote Viewing is a gift that I don’t think gets the kudos it deserves. It is simply being able to see anyone, anywhere, at any time. This is not, however, the same gift as clairvoyance. Clairvoyance involves seeing a snapshot, then the future unspooling depending on what choices the client makes. Remote Viewing does NOT involve the future. If you were to consult someone whose only gift is remote viewing, you’d be able to find the damn keys you put somewhere and forgot about, if your great aunt is doing okay in the hospital, and know if your partner was out bowling with the guys, at a strip club…or worse yet, working the pole himself. A Remote Viewer could not tell you if working the pole had been a lifelong dream of your partners, or his new career. A Clairvoyant could fill you in on that. After you got your prescription for Valium filled.

Remote viewing an extremely handy gift. It’s perfect for the days we live in, because it’s immediate, in real time, and extremely accurate. I often wish some of those of us who happen to be remote viewers could get together a celebrity website and tell you exactly what that white powder in his or her nose is, who it was purchased from, and who she/he is banging now…but alas, to my chagrin, none of my repeated calls for remote viewers willing to do that have been heeded.

The same warnings apply with remote viewing as with clairvoyance. If you want to know what your guy, gal, or frenemies are really doing, be prepared to wake up screaming in a cold sweat in the middle of the night…remember, you asked for it! I often sit and wonder if male remote viewers pay for porn at all, simply because when you can remote view, you can see people doing the deed whenever you get a wild hair up your ass to do so. If I’ve made it sound terribly invasive…well, too bad! People are screwing one another up against walls, taking dumps and urinating in public, and God knows what else I dare not mention. If the thought of one more person seeing you or those you care about doing something risky, downright stupid, or just this close to insane makes you uncomfortable, don’t go there.

Remote viewers are under an obligation to spit out what they see as well. This is a point I can make somewhat dramatically by recalling when one client had me check up on her man. I had to tell her that he was rolling around bed with a brunette that my client recognized as her closest friend. I often wonder what became of that terrible trio, as I never saw the client again save for an email confirming she herself had caught them doing the deed. I know she didn’t kill them because she wasn’t in police custody, but I seriously doubt he got the good stuff in that divorce.

One downside to remote viewing is practicing to gain or master this ability is incredibly difficult; I was born with some remote viewing capability, and the only hint I can provide on developing it is to start with a friend who knows that you are, in fact, sane. Have your friend call you via cell phone, and attempt to describe the surroundings they are in. With practice, you might become adept or more than adept. However you will stilll have to pay your buddy gas money, a truly terrifying proposition.

Clairaudience is an ability most psychics reject, and this brings up a point. If seeing movies in your head, feeling the misery of others, or seeing your supervisor screwing a picnic table in real time aren’t your thing, just say no. Any gift that is frightening to you or makes you uncomfortable can be rejected immediately, and clairaudience is the one ability I find the majority of my colleagues and myself do not want, and could not stand if we had by some mistake, accepted it.

Clairaudience is hearing ghosts, spirit guides, and dead people not in your head, not by telepathy, but literally with your ears. It is a very, very scary thing to experience. I had my first and last run in with clairaudience when I was four or five years old. Unfortunately, it’s not something I’ve forgotten in the years that have passed since that unlucky night. I was lying in bed when a woman’s voice literally came out of the air around me and said “Hello, Lydia.” I screamed, burrowed under my covers and said the kid equivalent of “Hell no!” I haven’t heard a voice since, save through telepathic means, and I am thankful.

Some psychics accept clairaudience. Those of us who passed this gift up admire them greatly. We give them loads of respect for still being sane, functioning beings while dealing with this day by day, hour by hour. Most of the psychics I know do have the ability to communicate with ghosts and spirit guides, even if they are not mediums. We do this through telepathy, which is much less damaging to our sanity. I can say with confidence it’s bad enough seeing a dead chick who wants to talk to you while you are in the shower telepathically; if you actually had to listen to it with your ears, it would be a little more challenging to put a stop to. As a functioning smartass, I merely tell the dead chick in question to count my stretchmarks until I’m at a strategic place to give her my full attention. She laughs, and we go on to chat about her loved on here on Earth for a while, a client whom I happen to chat with fairly often. She’s a hoot, that dead chick, recruited a few friends from the Other Side who show up when I’m showering. Keeps me on my toes; better yet, keeps all of us laughing. Now, if I was clairaudient I would’ve preemptively banged my head in the shower wall until I was unconcious, thus not being aware of what she or her buddies had to say. I honestly think this is a gift that just comes to you, not so certain it can be developed. Though I have heard of some success in putting a tape recorder in a little used room overnight, asking questions to your loved ones or spirit guides before recording, and then hearing replies when you play the tape back. I cannot speak from personal experience, of course. I see dead people. All the time.