Archive for February, 2011

Huzzah, Huzzah!!!!

Sunday, February 27th, 2011

On this weeks Literary Lowdown, I am so happy to welcome a the marvelous writer Maribeth Graham, who resides in Northeastern Pennsylvania. She is the mother of four and has been married for fourteen years to her high-school sweetheart. She is currently seeking representation for her middle-grade book titled The Graveyard Five. The coming-of-age novel centers around Christopher Bagolino and his four friends. After getting caught skipping school to hang out in the graveyard they are given an assignment they will never forget. Maribeth declared herself writer ten-years ago and has been working hard to become published ever since. She only recently began submitting her work for publication. When she realized she wanted a career in writing, she thought it would be important to educate herself on the craft before putting her work out there. She has two diplomas from The Institute of Children’s Literature. She applauds the ICL and encourages any beginning writers to enroll in their classes. Students are provided with talented instructors who guide, critique and support aspiring authors. In addition to the middle-grade novel, Maribeth has written several picture books and is currently finishing up her first YA novel. Although writing is her passion, she carries a full time job as a croupier (aka craps dealer). She prides herself in being an optimistic-fun loving girl and believes everything happens for a reason and in the time-line it is meant to. Maribeth invites you to read about her writing journey at her blog Writing Like Crazy http://www.ninidee.wordpress.com . She can also be found on Twitter under @YolaRamunno.

We will be taking YOUR questions on Wednesday at 12pmEST; give us a call at (347)237-5339 so we can chat with you…at some length; you know how I am.

I just had to include this quote; for those of you who know me, it fits my philosophies beautifully; for those of you who don’t….oh well.

“Murder the bastard inside who tells you not to get your hopes up; that fucker wins when you aim low.” –courtesy of Astrobarry.com

Cancellation

Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011

Hoping like hell I have a one day virus here, but I feel like regurgitated dog crap; because of this, I have canceled Psychically Correct and dragged myself out of bed to er, inform you all of this; I WILL make it to #writestream tomorrow where I’m being interviewed by the amazing @dariaanne, but for today, I’m going to do something I don’t have a lot of experience doing.

Take a break.

My theory on being ill is that it’s one hell of a good way to be thankful for the good health you normally have, so pray I keep this firmly in mind while this virus winds its way through me…

Until tomorrow…

The Happy One.

Thursday, February 17th, 2011

I never saw Johnny unhappy.

Truth be told, Johnny insisted that everyone around him be as happy as he was.

Before I met him.

I would have immediately assumed.

Which, as you know.

Makes an ass out of you and me.

That anyone who insisted others be as happy as they were.

Was a complete and utter asshole who would never merit any of my time or attention.

I like to believe most people feel this way.

But Johnny taught me differently.

I am not someone who is of the mushy, feel good persuasion.

I am not a pessimist either; merely a realist.

I maintain a No Fairy Tale Zone in my life at all times.

Johnny was real, and to my surprise, he won me over as easily.

As he seemed to win over anyone else.

It wasn’t just one thing, either.

He gave of himself, keeping those in hard times company.

Johnny had an enthusiastic, loud voice, which one might ordinarily call annoying.

But the sheer joy contained therein made everyone respond.

His smile was brilliant.

He gave affection freely, and even the coldest, most frigid people responded.

He uplifted wherever he went, and oh how he went.

Far and wide, could be found Johnny.

It was a different time, back then.

Strangers, even large guys like Johnny were welcomed, not feared.

Today, lesser physical specimens frighten greater ones.

But then again, how many souls do you encounter that are always happy?

Without the assistance of the latest don’t bring me down drug, that is?

Or alcohol, cigarettes, or any of the other million ways we’ve come up with.

That promise a slow, painful, lingering death one day; but not today.

But no matter; enjoy the buzz today and ignore the payment that will come tomorrow.

Johnny didn’t think that way of course.

He was the ultimate optimist.

Perhaps this is why when he died, it hit everyone so hard.

I suppose to those who were closest to him.

Of which, believe it or not, I was one.

Had become in some way dependent on the warmth of their sun.

He could bring a smile to our faces with little to no effort.

He didn’t see always the worst, because he only believed in the best.

Such people are rare today.

I believe they exist.

But I also believe they are parceled out by the powers that be very carefully.

Two in a lifetime is probably too much to hope for.

Much less expect.

I believe everyone is psychic to some degree as well.

Johnny was no exception.

He was irresistibly drawn to people going through rough times.

Some people have natural abilities as healers.

Some have a way with math.

Others abilities with language.

Name something you are good at, and I’ll tell you.

You had an affinity for it from birth.

Sure, you had to study and apply effort to perfect it.

And you know if you don’t use it.

You lose it.

So perhaps Johnny’s ability to not only be happy at all times.

But to bring others happiness.

Was a born trait that he expanded on, and strengthened.

As he used it.

Which does not negate the fact that it existed.

Logic and common sense, contrary to popular belief, are something any actual psychic or medium uses.

Because we all know, don’t we?

That life has it’s ups and downs.

That you are not going to get everything you want.

That you are going to fall face first into a pile of shit at least once in your lifetime.

If someone puts their lips to my ass and blows.

It’s all hot air; all fluff.

If someone says hey, next few months are going to go like this.

Then slaps me on the ass hard.

After I file a sexual harassment lawsuit.

Or zap them with my recently acquired million volt stun gun.

I’ll consider believing them.

Because no lesson worth learning comes easy.

All lessons are served hard and cold.

Because softness and warmth teach us nothing but dependence.

In this world, where it’s all too important that we are independent; Johnny was happy, but no fool.

He knew danger when he saw it.

He avoided people he could not contribute to.

Which was rare, but had happened on occasion.

We’ve all met the constant downer.

The drama prone neighbor.

The in law who believes their stubbed toe.

Is worse than your cancer.

Johnny had no more time nor patience than I do with such people.

I suppose it was one redeeming quality he saw in me.

Oh, truth be told, he was so happy go lucky.

I am quite certain he saw something more in me than I did…or indeed do today.

Such souls always find something more redeeming in us than we can ever locate on our own.

They believe in us when we cannot or will not believe in ourselves.

Oftentimes, they see a greater purpose that will be fulfilled one day.

A bright future, rather than a dark abyss.

They give us permission to believe in ourselves, and normally.

They do it when no one else will.

It is nearly always a bittersweet experience when one of these rare, beautiful creatures.

Graces us with their presence.

For nothing so bright or beautiful can last.

Which is why Johnny made the impact he did on me, and indeed, on everyone he met.

The brightest flame burns quickest, it is said.

I’m sure by this point.

You know that Johnny died long ago.

He died laughing, during a joyful sprint.

I was there, you see.

I watched him fall.

Ran to him.

Screamed for help until someone came.

I knew he was gone.

I even knew where he went.

One of the perks of being a medium, you know.

Little comfort that brought me then.

To be honest, it brings little comfort now.

For we mediums are never allowed to talk to our loved ones.

Call it a blessing and a curse.

We know where they go, through those we can talk to.

We know they are in good hands, and happy.

But we cannot have the same joyful reunion we help provide others.

Is it worth it?

Depends on which day you ask me.

Knowing where Johnny is does not make me miss him less.

Not that you have to subscribe to any of this medium nonsense, of course.

Everyone reserves the right to their own belief.

I depended on my belief as I struggled to drag Johnny’s lifeless head into my lap.

To hold him one last time, before saying goodbye to the empty shell his body had become.

As it turned out, it was not the last time I would see his body.

Have you ever noticed that sometimes.

When a death occurs.

There is negativity involved?

One family member doesn’t believe the circumstances of death are natural.

Others might argue, but that one persists.

Wouldn’t you know it?

It’s normally the type of person Johnny would avoid who brings this belief to the forefront.

In his case, it was my father.

He believed something was amiss regarding our beloved Johnny’s fate.

An autopsy was called for.

I attended..

Let me preface this with some necessary information.

I come from a family history of health care workers.

My grandfather was a professor of bacteriology.

My grandmother a nurse.

My mother and father nurses.

My twin brother and I worked in health care for a time, as well.

It was nothing whatsoever to watch heart surgery while eating lasagna back when I was a kid.

Therefore, when my just-turned-eleven year old brother and I asked to attend.

It did not occur to my parents to demur.

Death is part of life after all.

Mind you, my parents and twin believed in hellfire and damnation.

I knew better; still do.

But again, don’t mind me if your beliefs differ.

It takes all kinds to make the world go round; but even if one doesn’t believe in an afterlife.

I think it can be acknowledged by all that the body is just a shell after it’s left behind.

The autopsy was fascinating to myself and my brother.

The veterinarian wasn’t as sure.

She asked my father if it was alright.

Then, when they both put Johnny up on the table.

She nervously peered past her mask at the two of us.

Lurking quietly in the corner, eyes curious, if a bit red rimmed.

Asked again.

When given the go ahead by my father, she began.

Oh yes, some tears were shed.

But focusing on the intricacies of the shell.

Of the wonders evolution, God, or the Universe, called into being to create this lovely Golden Retriever.

The one called Johnny.

It kept those tears at bay.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

We found out that day that what was so lovely on the outside of our friend.

Not our property, mind you.

For no creature belongs to another.

Was also lovely and something to celebrate on the inside.

My father’s questions were resolved.

He believed Johnny had been poisoned.

He did not wish to believe that nature could be responsible for the death.

Of such a fine friend.

But nature was responsible; a defect in his thoracic diaphragm.

A simple sheet of muscle that for the purposes of this true story.

Was necessary for Johnny to breathe.

When he was on his glorious run, looking over his shoulder at me.

Laughing, as dogs do.

This sheet of muscle failed, and he died.

It was quick.

They always call that a blessing, don’t they?

He was a good friend; one of the very few I possessed.

He was a true friend.

I could do no wrong in his eyes, and in his opinion, I never would.

I would always be a good person.

I would always do well.

And, as Johnny laughed with me, but never at me.

I vowed that soo would I endeavor to laugh with others, but never at them.

Many would call Johnny a mere dog.

Bred for loyalty, expressive eyes, affection, and any number of other traits.

I don’t buy it.

Johnny believed in me when no one else; not my brother, father,  mother.

Or any other fellow human would.

Because of him, I cultivated a belief in myself I would not have otherwise.

The wider you cast your net for teachers.

The more teachers come.

The lesson here is simple.

Never rely on human beings alone to teach you humanity.

Thatchannel.com/Liquid Lunch Guest Appearance!

Tuesday, February 15th, 2011

Just a quick heads up; I’m honored to have been asked to appear on thatchannel.com/Liquid Lunch with Hugh Reilly and co-hosts Stella Hunt, Daniel Katz, Natalie Filippelli, Erin Ademoglu, Janette Burke, and Marla Lukofsky tomorrow; since the show goes to air as I’m finishing Psychically Correct; I’ll be joining the hosts around fifteen to twenty minutes after they go on air; I’m not sure if we’ll be taking questions or not, but either way, it should be a hellaciously good show, because Zoe Moon will be joining me as a guest!

The link to head to is: http://www.thatchannel.com/liquidlunch

Now I need to head to my other computer to figure out how in the heck to get a blog post I’ve been dying to share up later this week!

Hope everyone had a Happy Valentine’s Day!

Editor Jessica Zolondek and YOUR Questions Rule this weeks programming schedule!

Saturday, February 12th, 2011

I am so looking forward to welcoming Editor and Writer Jessica Zolondek to the show for her unique perspective on the landscape out there for aspiring authors and those who are already published!

You can find Jessica at:

http://www.snowyowlpublications.org/

This weeks Psychically Correct is all about your questions and my offbeat answers, so give us a call and ask away.

In other news, on February 17th, I’ll be making a guest appearance on Primarily Paranormal with Tena Marie right here:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/ggmradio/2011/02/18/primarily-paranormal-w-tena-marie

I’m assuming we will be taking calls on the show, so you’ve got two prime days to get your questions answered…in other words, don’t be a freakin stranger; call into (347)237-5339 to ask!

Have a blog post I need to get up; bring your kleenex because it’ll be a tearjerker. Fact is, I need to find my wordperfect program before I can access the file to post it here…that’s right-some post I already have ready and waiting to go!

Have a great week, and an amazing Valentine’s Day, everyone!

Pithy Poet Steven Curtis Lance and Astounding Astrologist Zoe Moon!

Sunday, February 6th, 2011

Bit late on posting; still valiantly battling a vicious cold, but the show must go on, and so it shall!

No doubt on this very blog you have seen Steven Curtis Lance’s poetry; I am so thrilled to welcome him to the show this Tuesday, 2/8 at 2pmEST; the link to listen to the show is:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/ggmradio/2011/02/08/lydias-literary-lowdown-with-lydia-aswolf

Wednesday at 12pmEST, Suzanne and I are so thrilled to welcome the fabulous Astrologist Zoe Moon to the show; if you haven’t checked out her incredibly detailed FREE weekly forecasts, check it out here:

http://zoemoonastrology.blogspot.com/

Zoe also has her own amazing radio show, which you can catch every Thursday right here:

http://sky.radio.com/shows/the-zoe-moon-astrology-show/

I might sound a little froggy on both shows this week, but I just cannot find it within me to cancel either show in light of these two incredible guests I’ve been looking forward to interviewing for so long; here’s hoping you can understand me…but much more importantly, them, when you join us Tuesday and Wednesday!

Valentine’s Day Approaches; Let’s Talk About True Commitment

Tuesday, February 1st, 2011

I am often approached by young men and women, eager to know if they are about to get into a long term, committed relationship.

Most often, I advise them to take their time, and not leap into anything.

I do this because I know most of these young people don’t have the faintest idea what true commitment consists of.

If they persist in their quest for “the one,” I inform them in no uncertain terms of what real commitment means.

Because true commitment isn’t about being cute, everlasting happiness, or gazing into one another’s eyes for eternity.

True commitment means staying up and holding her hair when she’s puking her guts out, be it drunk or down with a bout of flu.

True commitment means using the applicator when his hemorrhoids are acting up.

You get to clean the applicator after you are done; he’s in too much pain to do so himself.

True commitment means knowing when she says “Nothing” is wrong.

Something is wrong.

Unfortunately, you are going to have to take it like the man or woman you are and “talk it out.”

True commitment means knowing you can manage to provide your kid’s Christmas.

But you and your partner will go without.

True commitment means you pick up her tampons while visiting the store alone.

Even if there is a price check on the damn things.

True commitment is watching your partner give birth.

After you both recover; her from the process, and you from the visual effects of said labor.

You’ll be eager to resume intimacy-because you love her.

True commitment is having a raging bladder infection, and making love anyhow.

When your partner notices your fever, you smile and take it like the true woman you are.

True commitment is picking up whatever your wife craves, whenever she craves it.

No matter how ridiculous it might be…or at what hour it’s demanded.

True commitment is turning to one another in the midst of a financial crisis.

You don’t how you will make it.

Only that you will make it.

Together.

True commitment is waking up together, and smiling secretly as your nude wife heads towards the bathroom in the morning.

Scratching her ass on the way.

Yeah, you hit that…and are happy you do.

True commitment means you get used to your partner scratching due South when the urge strikes.

Be it with guests present, while out grocery shopping, or at your mother’s house.

True commitment is threatening to beat the stuffing out of someone else’s wife…because she insulted your wife.

True commitment is knowing your partner hates sorting socks.

You sort socks so they don’t have to, even though you secretly hate those little fuckers, too.

True commitment means telling her that outfit makes her bum looks bigger than a elephant’s because you care.

True commitment is thanking him or her when told your bum looks bigger than a elephant’s because you know they dared to care.

True commitment means exercising and dieting together.

Even though you would willingly rip out a random guy’s throat for a Snickers bar.

You refrain from verbally or physically assaulting your partner.

True commitment is NOT withholding sex for power. On that path lies danger.

True commitment is your partner telling you his mother’s cookies taste better than your’s do.

Instead of being insulted, you try harder, and come up with the superior cookie.

Eternal smugness ensues.

True commitment means going to your partner’s family reunion willingly.

True commitment is listening all year for your impossible to buy for partner.

Scrimping and saving to get that ONE thing they mentioned they wanted just to see the surprise on their face which is your one, true gift for the holidays.

True commitment means on a sweltering night when the air conditioner busts, you give him a sponge bath with a cool cloth to keep him comfortable.

If you do a good job, you might get lucky.

True commitment means when your partner faints, puking on your hands, you catch her anyway.

Then you help wash her hair, if that’s what you caught her by.

True commitment means cutting his toenails.

Even if they seem to leap of free will into your mouth, eyes, or other vulnerable orifices.

True commitment is finally trying the Swedish meatball recipe he makes that you avoided for years.

You love it, and your partner doesn’t hold it against you-except for that really weird gleam in his eye’s every time he makes it.

Hmm, eternal smugness ensues.

True commitment means not faking orgasms. Ever.

True commitment is sincerely wanting to know when he comes home silent and taciturn.

Not for curiosity, but simply because you love him enough to find out and make him feel better in whatever way you can.

True commitment means matching the indentations and cuts on your lower leg with his toenails to prove he kicked the crap out of you in bed the night before.

Helpless giggles on both sides ensue.

True commitment is dozing off into a peaceful night’s rest.

Only to be jerked awake when your partner decides she wants to talk.

Instead of taking the end table and beating her unconscious, you say yes in all the right places until she shuts up and you can finally get to sleep.

True commitment dictates through the years, you will each tell one another the same story roughly ten thousand times.

Neither of you mind, and in many cases, encourage the retelling.

True commitment dictates you will see your partner lose a loved one.

You will cradle their head in your arms while they cry.

You will drop everything, spend your last penny, get a loan if you have to, to make sure they won’t miss the funeral, that final good bye.

True commitment is seeing your partner age and suffer through the indignities time places upon us all.

You will turn your partner, if you must, every two hours to prevent bedsores.

You will read to your beloved with Alzheimer’s and remind them of the good times, the bad times.

Anything to keep just a little bit of them with you.

True commitment is knowing one will outlive the other.

How you face that truth is up to you.

True commitment is when the honeymoon ends…and real, ‘true’ commitment begins.

Nothing worth having comes easy.

True, long lasting, commitment is worth having.

But like like anything else worth having…

It doesn’t come easy.