Lydia Aswolf

Take a peek in the bottom center of this CNN pic of the Oscar Gift Baskets handed out last night. Yep, that’s my pal Zoe Moon’s astrological calendar for 2012, which also found it’s way into the Grammy’s Gift Baskets, as well. Zoe is just THAT good. She’s also a helluva friend, in case you were wondering.

Believe it or not (and I had a hard time believing it) Zoe approached me to contribute a quote to her magnificent calendar, which I was more than happy to do. Time flies. So much so that I forgot to order the calendar (something I shall remedy after this post) and even though it’s almost March, the information Zoe packs into her calendars is worth it. Anyone who wants detailed astrological information…or just has an interest in astrology, would benefit hugely from snapping one of these up before all the stars get to them first.

You can find the calendar here: http://www.astrologyscopes.com/

BUT…Zoe also offers in depth free weekly and monthly horoscopes via her site. I head there every week, and she even does a separate detailed weekend forecast for each sign. When Zoe guested on Psychically Correct, she confessed it takes her hours to put these forecasts together. I guess I mention this because neither Zoe or I believe in sell, sell, sell. We both believe in give, give, give, and trust me; Zoe gives a LOT. So if you have a minute, check out your horoscopes; after you see them I’d be surprised if you didn’t want to pick up a calendar as well.

Find your own detailed weekly horoscope with Zoe right here: http://zoemoonastrology.blogspot.com/

Frequently Asked Question: What are the winning lotto numbers?

Answer: If I knew the winning lotto numbers, you wouldn’t. I’d be sitting on a beach right now, sipping tropical drinks with my husband while debating if that cloud floating overhead looked like a monkey’s ass or projectile vomit.

Which is the point, really. If psychics knew the winning numbers, they’d play them. If people knew psychics could summon the winning numbers, the likelihood of our being kidnapped to spew out said numbers would skyrocket.

Takeaway value: If a so-called psychic tells you they know the winning numbers, tells you to bet on that horse, buy a ream of scratch off tickets, etc, etc, walk away. Far away.

You could take a gamble on them knowing the winning numbers, bet big, and lose your shirt. Or you could bet them they don’t know the winning numbers and buy your chicken dinner with the proceeds from said bet.

I’ll take it on faith that you’ll overnight the resulting chicken bones to them. Since that kind of “psychic” probably uses them fairly often to “cure” people of incurable diseases, ward off curses, and all that.

#hereswhaticantdo

Frequently Asked Question: When will I meet the one?

Frequently thought but (usually) not said reply: When you get off your ass and start looking.

In a week,  I come across no less than three potential clients who think the one should come crashing through their ceiling and immediately begin making incredible, life altering love to them (never mind the injuries the one suffered upon hitting the ceiling and then crashing through it). More men and women than you would ever expect refuse to look for love at all, reasoning the one will come to them. Bullshit.

What is actually said: I can’t tell you when you’ll meet the one, because I don’t subscribe to the theory of the one; never have. You have a variety of useless, likely self absorbed twats and bastards you learned on…and then you moved onto something better. At least, most people do. Some seem to enjoy running face first into a door spiked with rusty nails over and over again. I don’t know why, but there it is.

Finding love is a lot like teething. You have to put a helluva lot of disgusting things in your mouth to chew on and spit out when it tastes wrong. Eventually, you’ll lose that “one” tooth to exchange it for a better, more long lasting one. You lose a lot of teeth. You replace a lot of teeth. Finally, you wind up with a (hopefully) healthy set to last you a lifetime. Love isn’t that different.

Takeaway Value: I personally wouldn’t trust any psychic who told me this or that guy/gal was ‘the one’ for reasons mentioned above. This includes soul mate/twin flame relationships, of which I have a dim view (I’ve blogged on it before, so those posts are floating around somewhere).

We psychics might like the guy/gal you are considering. Most likely we’ll advocate and point out detailed examples of why he/she is so good for you. This might help you make a decision; it might not.

So my public service announcement for today works as well for consulting psychics in finance and work issues as it does for love: Trust us second and yourself first.

#hereswhatIcantdo

Frequently Asked Question: When will I die? I can’t tell you when you’ll die. No legitimate reader I know will.

Less than Positive Solution: You want to know. So you find someone else claiming to be a legit psychic. She “panics” shortly after you ask her when you will die. She then tells you if you don’t pay her $750 to let her smack you around with chicken bones, you are going to die a very ugly and untimely death. Imminently.

What you don’t know and should: She had KFC last night.

Immediate Result: You reek of leftover chicken and shame. Next time you see wackadoodle, she’s rocking a new laptop. You know you bought that, right?

End Result: You aren’t dead. You are, however, broke.

Yesterday, a schoolteacher was arrested for photos that indicated possible lewd conduct with many of the children he taught.

Yesterday, a man by the name of Sandusky was granted the legal go ahead to receive the names of the ten brave young men who have leveled accusations against him of sexual abuse.

And yesterday night, I watched a local ad that has aired regularly throughout the ten months I have been living here.

It does not show the girls face.

We do not learn her name.

We do learn that one night while the girl was at a sleepover, the stepfather of the house came into the room and molested her.

We know this because the young girl is the narrator, and without guile, she shares her story.

“Because some kids feel guilty, and they shouldn’t. It’s not their fault.” she matter-of-factly informs the viewing audience at the end of the public service announcement.

This public service announcement is on every night during the local evening news.

Every single night.

Tonight, I will see it yet again.

And when I do, I will recall a scene that played out in my neighborhood during spring of last year.

There was a predator in our neighborhood.

I didn’t know that when I stepped outside to find out why my neighbors were creating such a ruckus.

But I saw what was going on soon enough.

The predator had made the mistake of going after one of the children and every adult pursued him until he was driven away, wounded and bleeding.

I will ponder, as the confident young girl’s voice rings in my ears, urging children to report abuse, another program I watched on television last night.

On this program, I learned that when a child cries out in alarm, every able bodied adult, parent or not, comes to the immediate and vicious defense of the child in question.

And tonight, as I have wondered all the other nights in which horrific abuses are outlined by temporarily grave looking news anchors who then casually turn to the next big story with a practiced smile on their face, I will wonder again why this is so.

Crows attacked the hawk that fine spring day in our neighborhood because he dared get near their young with the intent to kill and consume.

Alligators, regardless of sex; regardless of if they are parent or not, will immediately and viciously respond to the alarm cry of a youngster of their species.

Sometimes they get there in time to save the young. Sometimes they don’t.

But there exist worse things than dying.

So I will watch the news tonight. The girl’s voice will echo in my ears again with her nightly message to spare others from what was done to her.

I will wonder about the crows and the alligators…both often scorned species who will put their lives on the line to save their young because to do anything less would be unthinkable.

Why can’t we?