Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner
Friday, February 24th, 2012
Frequently Asked Question: What are the winning lotto numbers?
Answer: If I knew the winning lotto numbers, you wouldn’t. I’d be sitting on a beach right now, sipping tropical drinks with my husband while debating if that cloud floating overhead looked like a monkey’s ass or projectile vomit.
Which is the point, really. If psychics knew the winning numbers, they’d play them. If people knew psychics could summon the winning numbers, the likelihood of our being kidnapped to spew out said numbers would skyrocket.
Takeaway value: If a so-called psychic tells you they know the winning numbers, tells you to bet on that horse, buy a ream of scratch off tickets, etc, etc, walk away. Far away.
You could take a gamble on them knowing the winning numbers, bet big, and lose your shirt. Or you could bet them they don’t know the winning numbers and buy your chicken dinner with the proceeds from said bet.
I’ll take it on faith that you’ll overnight the resulting chicken bones to them. Since that kind of “psychic” probably uses them fairly often to “cure” people of incurable diseases, ward off curses, and all that.