Lydia Aswolf

Kate, what I’m interested in, is if one of the two friends you are planning this trip with isn’t always fiscally responsible, so to speak. See, I might be off on this, but I keep getting the funds mostly being made available through you and your friend’s hard work and effort, and one of them comes across as a pretty free spender, so it might throw off your trip to England, HOWEVER, you know which friend spends a little too freely at times, and can reign her in right now, so that this trip will be possible for all three of you.

In other words, make certain everyone is saving as diligently as you, and definitely ride herd on this friend who tends to spend without thinking, because summer seems so far away to her, she might not be able to come up with every penny she needs, and yeah, you could always contribute, but remember, if you contribute your hard earned cash to her to help her make the trip, you’ll have to contribute more whilst in England, because if she can’t pay for her full trip, then she probably won’t have cash while in England either, and that, to put it mildly, would be a huge bummer, lol!

So far as a fling is concerned, once in England, I get you meeting any number of nice guys, one of whom sticks out. He’s got light hair and light eyes, good height, good build, very charming, self deprecating, and extremely funny. He is also very intelligent, which I know you appreciate, but remember what I’ve counseled you in the past on, even if they aren’t quite in your IQ level, give em a chance, so keep that in mind.

The thing here is, as far as flings are concerned, it feels more like you keep in touch, see one another quite a bit while you are there, and even keep in touch when you arrive back in the States, but it doesn’t feel like it gets intimate to me, or gf/bf-like at all. So I’m not sure I would term this as a fling so much as a firm friend made, and future possibilities for a relationship are there, but it feels to me like a stay in touch, see what happens, and not feel “attached” so you can explore every other option that becomes available to you.

Now, as far as your close friends, I don’t really get you all three moving close to one another at the same time, because life is going to be consisting of you on the move a great deal, and one of your friends, the more soft spoken of the two, is going to settle down a bit early, and not be able to just move when and where she likes. Now, the other friend, who is outspoken and says exactly what she thinks, when she thinks it, you two will be able to go a year without speaking to one another because you are so busy, and then get in touch and it was like no time had passed….and it might even be several years at times before you two are in touch, but the bond always stays the same. With your more soft spoken friend, I continue to get a bit of fading of the friendship as she settles down, has kids, a husband, and a home to look after. It isn’t that you won’t keep in touch, but you and your more outspoken friend are very alike as I see things career wise, so lots of travel and marrying a bit later in order to establish career first; therein it’s logical you and your friend who has settled down won’t be on the same path, and so will share a little less in common as the years go by.

Hmmm, on the always being a huge part of your life, no. I don’t mean to say that they will just fade, but it isn’t going to be a winding up in the same nursing home, even Godmother type situation. Life shifts and moves, and all three of you have your different paths to take, so it’s not going to be doing everything at the same time, in the same way, in the same place, because each of you have different lessons to learn, and some you have to learn alone, without having friends right there to lean on. On the bridesmaid issue, I get one being able to be a bridesmaid, but this is going to be the more outspoken friend, as you and she will settle down a bit later than your more soft spoken friend, not sure she would be any more than just a guest IF she can make it, and as things stand now? I don’t see your more soft spoken friend being able to make it.

I know you are extremely practical, hence don’t get depressed or upset about these bits of information. You will still have a marvelous time IF you keep your friend saving her money in England, you will meet a very nice bloke there you can keep in touch with, and in the future, something might well come of it romantically, but I’d rather you not pin your hopes on one guy, when so many more are out there that you can judge and explore relationships with, to find what fits the best.

As in regards to your friends, well, after you are out of school, working, traveling, networking, and forming new friendships in your travels, it should only ring true that some friendships where they also are forging ahead and creating the life they most want are going to take a backseat for a bit. It isn’t that you won’t be in touch, but the times between being in touch will be a bit further apart, as is right and proper.

Hope this all makes sense to you, and THANK YOU for your question!

Lydia

PS, I’ve had a few people unsure on if they should/shouldn’t leave comments…by all means, do so, I can use all the feedback I can get at this point