To Your Health
Friday, March 9th, 2012
Frequently Asked Question: How’s my health looking?
Frequent Answer: I am not a physician.
So you forgot to water your cactus plants. You left them in the kitchen chair before going to bed so you wouldn’t forget in the morning. For some reason, in the middle of the night you develop a blinding fear your beloved cacti are going to die if they don’t get watered now. Or, you have to go to the bathroom. Or you left your cell phone perilously close to the kitchen chair. Whatever. You blunder out naked and in a bizarre twist of fate, fall ass first on your beloved cacti, who pays you back for this indignity in the worst way possible.
If you call to ask me what the hell do to, I’m going to a) ask if you have a roommate, neighbors, and a bullhorn with which to summon them for help. Shortly after this, I will move to b) why in the hell you haven’t called 911? I will then heavily recommend you utilize option c) all of the above, to best help you out of your painful predicament. I will further advise that you stay where you are until help arrives, and recommend that you avoid making this your do-it-yourself project of the month.
Takeaway Value: The scenario above is not likely to happen. At least, I fervently hope not. Yet, I have been asked countless times how to deal with a potential client’s terminal illnesses, chronic pain, or acute symptoms that have popped up shortly before they placed the call to me.
The first words out of my mouth are normally “You are seeing a physician, right?” Often, the answer is, “I have an appointment, but I want to know now.”
That is not our gig, and you should never, ever allow yourself to be swayed by a “psychic” claiming they can heal you of said terminal illness, chronic pain, or acute symptoms. Unless they happen to have a medical degree they can attach to an email/fax/snail mail you. If they do, make some calls to make sure it’s legit. Problem is, that takes time, and I’m assuming you want help sooner rather than later.
Opening the door to ‘health readings’ could cause you more than physical pain. If you aren’t consulting a legitimate psychic (most of whom flatly refuse to read for health) you could find yourself with a happy asshole who tells you things are worse than you think. If these assholes catch you in the right mood, they can cause a whole helluva lot of financial pain for you.
Bottom line: It’s too damned expensive to call or book a reading with a psychic for a health reading, period. You need concrete facts, figures, and face to face time for diagnosis, treatment, follow up care. We can’t do that.
I know some physicians advocate the use of leeches in treating their patients.
Unlike the leeches, any “psychic” you use to ascertain the status of your health will provide you with only one result: bleeding you dry.